Mae Muller: 'I have always wanted to strive for honesty and authenticity'

It’s three weeks before the release of her debut album Sorry I’m Late, a record that has been a while in coming since she released her first EP, After Hours, in 2018, but she feels it has been worth the wait.

“I feel really lucky that I was given that space to really grow and develop,” says the 26-year-old. “I’ve learnt so much over the five years of writing this album. I’ve literally grown up writing it. I was still like a kid, now I feel so much more sure of myself. I’ve gained so much experience and I’ve learnt so much, so I feel very grateful that I was given that time to figure out what I wanted to say.”

In her early 20s, it had all been about trying to find the right break. Hence a series of singles, EPs and collaborations, including one with Big Zuu and another with the Swedish artist collective Neiked and US rapper Polo G, as well as tour support slot with Little Mix.

“Back then it was about exploring and figuring out my writing style and doing things that expanded my horizons in any way,” she explains. “Obviously it had to be right for me, but I wanted to get into the industry and see what was out there. The more I did the more I learnt and the better my writing got.”

Even further back, as a seven-year-old, Muller had appeared in the video for Mika’s chart-topping song Grace Kelly, directed by her aunt, Sophie Muller – “Yes, that’s me!” she says, beaming at the memory of being seated on a piano in a green dress – and as a teenager she had been a runner on pop promo shoots. She says that seeing the industry from both sides had been useful. “I was so lucky to have that opportunity,” she says. “Even just being on set, when I used to be a runner making teas and coffees, I loved the atmosphere and I loved being around it, I knew that no matter in what capacity I wanted to be in that.

“I always knew deep down that I wanted to be an artist and a performer, I loved the chaos and the way it all worked. I found it so interesting and I felt comfortable in that environment.”

This year she found herself the focus of attention, carrying the UK’s hopes in the Eurovision Song Contest final in Liverpool. She says the found that experience of performing I Wrote A Song to 162 million television viewers “honestly the most surreal”.

“I can’t even remember my own performance, it was a blackout. I was like, ‘Did that even happen? Was that real or was I imagining it?’” she says. “There was so much build-up and I put so much into it, and then it was over in three minutes.”

She might have finished second to last with the voters, but with hindsight, she says: “I look back on it and it was such an amazing experience and I met so many amazing people. Just seeing the amount of people that connected with the song and how much joy it brought, that was so rewarding for me and that was all I wanted to get out of it.”

Muller also found a big supporter in the Finnish entrant Käärijä, who finished runner-up. “He was so lovely. I remember him having an interview shortly after and he was just like, ‘What the f*** happened?’” she laughs, “but that really helped. It took me a few days to process and just understand what happened and be OK with it, but seeing that support did really help and it reassured me. The second I started having fun with it, taking control of the narrative and getting back to myself, I felt like if I’m having fun and I’m OK then everyone else is OK, that’s how I saw it.”

The song itself also became a top 10 hit in the UK, which provided some consolation for Muller. “I tried not to focus on stats and numbers but in that situation it’s difficult not to, so...I took a little exhale and thought ‘OK, people have really connected with it’,” she says. “I would never think that it was a waste of my time anyway, the experience was so amazing, but it was nice to have something concrete that I could see and be proud of.”

The cover of Muller’s album features multiple versions of herself. It is, she says, a way of showing how we are all multi-faceted. “There’s a few different reasons behind it. I wanted each song on the album to have a character, to have an embodiment of what the songs represent and how they look. I love my songs and my need to be visual, so each song has their own character and also shows all the different versions of myself that are inside of me, like I have been and what I will be, everything it’s taken to get to this point and for me to have written these songs. Then there’s me now present, sat at the head of the table, being like ‘We’re here now and we’re here to stay’.”

Personal development and female empowerment are abiding themes on the album. Muller explains: “I have always wanted to strive for honesty and authenticity. I think being a young woman and writing about my experiences, over the years things are going to come out. I’ve always wanted to resonate and for people to be able to relate to my music and feel less alone.

“I don’t go into the studio and go, ‘Right, I’m going to write a song and make a big political statement’, it’s just the things that I have experienced and the things I want to say. If I have something to say I will always say it, so it’s just naturally come out. I’m lucky that I have that space and I have that voice that I can us, and to hear that people are relating to that and finding solace in that is really comforting to me as well.”

Learning to embrace her vulnerable side has also been an important lesson. “When I first started out in this industry I felt I had to be this version of a woman that was just like concrete, that didn’t show any vulnerability and that didn’t take any s***. I would call myself this bad b***ch, and that’s a very important part of who I am, that’s what I think got me to where I am today, that’s what I felt I had to do to survive in this industry, and I think women are put under a lot of pressure to be that.

“But writing this album made me realise, do you know what, there’s actually just as much power and strength in the other side, what we choose not to show. It’s actually a lot more powerful to show that vulnerable side. It took me a little bit of time to get there but I’m so happy I did it now because I love this album and I love these songs. I think it shows that we’re multi-faceted human beings and it’s OK to have those down days, you’re not alone in that as well.”

To launch the album, Muller is embarking on a five-date tour of intimate venues. She says: “I’ve never done a run of shows like that, so to have that intimate setting and to really feel everyone’s presence there, I just want to show how grateful I am for the support, for how much love people are showing this album when it’s not even out yet. That’s what I’m really looking forward to.”

Alongside music, Muller has also made her first foray into acting with the forthcoming film Gassed Up, due out in cinemas early next year. Acting is something she wants to “go into a bit more”, she says, because she enjoys it and it’s something she has had an interest in from when she was “really young”.

Gassed Up was directed by George Amponsah, whose credits include the documentary Black Power: A British Story of Resistance. “It’s sort of in that Top Boy-esque world,” Muller says. “It’s about a UK group of boys, they’re like a moped gang who go around doing petty crimes, they steal phones and things like that, and then things start to level up and all the drama unfolds. The main character Ash, who’s played by Stevie Gambles (aka Stephen Odubola), I play his love interest, so that was also very new to me. I was like, ‘Oh no, I’ve got to kiss someone on camera!’, but it was also fun. It was an amazing theme, an amazing cast and I’m really excited to see what people’s reactions are going to be.”

This autumn she is due to film another project, but for now it remains hush-hush.

Sorry I’m Late is out on Friday September 29. Mae Muller plays at the Key Club, Leeds on Sunday September 17, with Crash Records. https://www.maemuller.com/