Why Harry and Meghan must heal rift with Queen – Jayne Dowle

He’s there to lend his name to the recording of a Bon Jovi song called Unbroken, a proper tear-jerker which offers up a plea from a young soldier attempting to deal with the aftermath of war.

I’d be surprised if the famously quick-to-emotion Harry can listen to the lyrics “…where’s my brothers? Where’s my country? Where’s my how things used to be...?” without filling up, as we say in Barnsley.

Perhaps this will go down in history as his Damascene moment. Perhaps he will burst forth from the studio, charge across the Abbey Road zebra crossing made famous by The Beatles and tear off to Buckingham Palace to beg forgiveness of the Queen.

If he doesn’t, Harry, 35, should certainly use this visit – as yet, there is no sign of Meghan Markle arriving to join him, by private jet or other means – to reflect deeply upon the decisions which have seen him leave the UK, seemingly a permanent move.

In particular, he must consider the damage he has done to his grandmother. Above all, this fallout matters. And not just because of the peevish statement issued on Harry and Meghan’s website last weekend after they were forced to drop their ‘Sussex Royal’ brand, reminding the 93-year-old Queen that she does not own the word ‘royal’.

For someone who proclaims himself to be as switched on to mental health as Harry does, his behaviour has been hypocritical in the extreme. Has he stopped for a moment to think how his actions must have caused such direct grief to his grandmother?

You only have to look at photographs of them together to see that the two were particularly close; here they are sharing a joke as granny struggles to get to grips with Facetiming the Obamas, here he is blushing scarlet as Her Majesty inspects her youngest grandson lining up with other officers at his Sandhurst passing out parade.

It’s not for me to dress each character in this awful melodrama with specific emotional characteristics; what really goes on behind Palace doors is still a mystery to most of us. I would say, however, that when all the pomp and ceremony is stripped away, the Queen clearly played a pivotal role in the upbringing of both Harry and his brother, William, especially after their mother, the Princess of Wales, was killed.

Quite often, when the parent-child bond is fractured or difficult, grandparents step into the breach. At the very least, they can provide a safe haven when the world seems harsh; my own two children have grown up understanding this.

Although they may smile at granny’s shaky grasp on technology – just like Harry once did – they now return the favour. At a family event at home last year, I overheard a guest remark on how respectful my teenagers were to the older people present. That meant more to me than any compliments about the food.

The sad thing is that you don’t have to be Royal to see the opposite happening every day. Whilst Harry and Meghan no doubt think they are very special indeed, they are not. They are just like countless other young(ish) people across the world, who think that their generation is the only one that matters.

Prince Harry, through his own charity work, must surely realise that so many young people suffer from the absence of clear family role models. Even without the obligation a public figure is under to set a positive example, he must know that his recent behaviour is entirely contradictory.

Perhaps you see it in your own family; at best a kind of bored tolerance, at worst outright disrespect for grandparents. We all change as we grow up, but a thoughtful adult does not shrug off all those years of love and care.

I was lucky to be blessed with three grandparents I knew, and a paternal grandmother who died before I was born. They all had strong personalities, and I didn’t always agree with them. As an idealistic 17-year-old, I remember one especially fierce argument I had with my patriotic maternal grandfather about the wearing of poppies on what he always called ‘Armistice Day’. Two years later, he was dead.

Harry and Meghan’s entitled decision to leave England and move to Canada, where they intend to set up as some kind of breakaway sect based on the questionable values of celebrity and money-making, has been predicated on their own desires, without taking into account the fallout (literally).

With their famous ‘vision’, perhaps they should look forward instead of gazing at their own navels. Time is precious and so are important relationships. Especially the ones made fragile by the relentless march of age.