Jayne Dowle: Epidemic of over-sharing that does no one a favour

Why then, do modern politicians feel the need to share their most intimate secrets with us? It was bad enough learning the other day that Sam Cam picks out all of Dave’s clothes. The image of him standing in his underpants in the changing room at Marks & Spencer being handed chinos in 50 shades of beige is one I can seriously live without. It is even worse though, to discover that the Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls, considers himself “a long, slow burn” in bed. What on earth possessed him to reveal this fact (assuming it is one)?

Balls made his startling confession on a radio talk show in the wake of a Mumsnet poll which rated him as one of the sexiest men in the Commons. If you really want to feel your toes curl, hunt down the actual interview online. It makes you wonder if the economy really would be safe in his hands if half the time his mind is wandering off his red boxes towards the Kama Sutra.

And I know this exercise was only intended as a bit of fun, but really, is it any wonder that women are patronised in political circles when they instigate silliness like this? Do you think Emmeline Pankhurst spent her campaign meetings sizing up the attributes of Prime Minister Lloyd George with her band of suffragettes? Have the good ladies of Mumsnet really got nothing more pressing to do with their time than tick a multiple choice box to anoint their favourite Newsnight cutie? It’s sad really. A toss up between Ed Balls and Boris Johnson? It’s hardly a battle between Ryan Gosling and Eddie Redmayne, is it?

Anyway, Heaven knows what the Shadow Chancellor’s wife, Yvette Cooper, the MP for Normanton, Pontefract and Castleford, thinks of it all. If he was my husband, I’d be having a word about his suggestive on-air radio show “banter” with Marie from Putney. And he’s got three children, all at school. I’m speaking as a parent here. My two already know rather more about my private life than I would like. The last thing I would want to do is share intimate details with the whole of South Yorkshire and North Derbyshire when I do my occasional talk spots with broadcaster Rony Robinson on Radio Sheffield. I’d never show my face at the school gate again. And, my mother would be listening too.

I’m blaming Nick Clegg for all this. In years to come his tenure will be remembered for two things: that major volte face over tuition fees and the admission, given in an interview in 2008 with GQ magazine, that he had bedded “no more than 30 women”. I still can’t look at him without wondering what those 30 women must think of him now. And I can’t imagine what the lovely Miriam, his long-suffering wife, must have said to him when she saw those words in print. I’m all for making politicians more human, but this epidemic of over-sharing does no one any favours. What we have here is a perfect storm of middle-aged male vanity, a media which feeds a public obsessed with sex and titillation and the heat of a General Election to set it all alight.

I’m going to say something which will really shock you now. If you actually look dispassionately at the leaders of the Government and the Shadow Cabinet, you will see a bunch of men in their mid to late forties, who are in general, not bad for their age. If they weren’t all married already, they could put themselves on any dating website and, at first glance anyway, the women would be falling over themselves. You might think I’m kidding. I’m not. I’ve got friends – of both sexes – who are looking for a new partner and I’ve seen the quality of the competition.

And, if you know anything about middle-aged men these days, you will know that they are (in general) obsessed with the fact that they are getting older. Every day brings a fresh grey hair, if they still have hair to fret over. At home, they sit in the chair watching the youngsters on ITV’s Take Me Out and wonder when it all started to go downhill. At work, they are challenged by young whipper-snappers fresh out of university with their MBAs and six-packs. They are a generation under siege. Anything which makes them feel like a man with the ladies is a welcome gratification.

This doesn’t entirely explain why the Prime Minister decided to tell Woman & Home magazine that Samantha chooses his casual trousers. However, we must accept that for the next few months, we are going to endure even more of this nonsense. I only hope that when the televised debate between party leaders finally comes off, everyone involved vows to keep their clothes on.