How the Silver Line is a force for good in alleviating loneliness - Daxa Patel

“It was the first time many older people had a safe way to admit how lonely they were. They had stayed silent because they were so concerned not to become a burden to their family and friends.

“And as they were used all their lives to being relied upon, they didn’t want to admit that now they needed support themselves. When I wrote a piece in a newspaper describing my own loneliness a close friend rebuked me, ‘how could you write that, Esther, haven’t you got too much pride?’ Loneliness was a taboo subject.

“Over the past ten years we have spoken to hundreds of thousands of older people, sharing memories, supporting them when they were distressed, laughing with them when they had a joke to share. And we have recruited hundreds of volunteer befrienders to make weekly phone calls to people, many of whom are so isolated they have nobody else to chat to.

“Thanks to our wonderful staff and volunteers we have become what one caller told me is ‘a lifeline’. So, thank you to all our teams and supporters who have helped us keep that lifeline open. And to all our older people I would say, remember how valued you are and how important your life experience is, age is just a number, and there is no sell-by date.”

A heartfelt reflection from Dame Esther Rantzen.

Now I have some personal experience of this charity as it was set up about the same time I found myself caring for my dad. I left my job as a solicitor to be my dad’s carer, and both my dad and I were big on living life to the full. After my father passed, I volunteered with the Silverline as I knew of its good work and it felt right to give something back. On my part, there was a selfish reason too, I needed to find a purpose to keep living and being a volunteer was a good way to be of use to society while I was putting myself back together.

I started as a volunteer in 2016 and remained one until October 2022. My friend was 84 when we first met on our once a week call and when she died at the age of 90 last year, I realised how much I had gained from this friendship line though it was meant to serve the older souls, it helped me enormously too.

Thanks to Dame Esther’s vision, and courage in setting up this charity, I found an unlikely yet warm friendship. I know from speaking with my friend the weekly calls helped her feel less isolated and heard. I, like so many volunteers with this charity, took our role seriously. We were there to serve, to be the bridge builders between isolation, and feeling valued.

Our older citizens are not relics; they have so much knowledge, and life experience that we can benefit from. I think today’s notion of a nuclear family of four is unworkable. We need to nurture the intergenerational life force and appreciate everyone no matter how old or young.

As a society we seem to think of our elders as a nuisance, but it would pay to turn this around because without them we would not be where we are today. They sacrificed a great deal and they did not have the modern gadgets that we have at our disposal and they paid their dues to society.

If we see this then it is incumbent on us to show our respect by making older wise souls feel seen and heard.

This Silverline is a charity close to my heart not least because of my friendship with my dear friend, but also because I have huge respect for Dame Esther and her team, who have worked tirelessly to make this charity do something magical.

The charity is always in need of more volunteers as we find more and more older people living longer and alone.

Care homes are not the only answer. If we can empower people to live longer in their own environment by empowering them with the emotional support they need, then no one needs to feel lonely.

I want to end this column on a personal note. Being a volunteer with the Silverline helpline was a great privilege and I am so thankful for the friendship I gained with a beautiful lady originally from Yorkshire.

We had weekly calls over a period of six years, we laughed and complained about things we did not like, and we put the world to right many times. I know my friend appreciated my role in her life, but most of all, I appreciated her more than words can say. Thank you, Dame Esther, for this wonderful gift. Happy 10th birthday Silverline, you are a force for good.

Daxa Manhar Patel is a leadership coach, author and solicitor.