Modern Dilemmas: Alexandra Watson

Dear Alex, I’ve been at my job now for 12 years and used to love it very much. With a new boss in place at the start of last year the whole culture of the company changed so much so I now hate going to work and have suffered several anxiety attacks. Everyday I endure rude and lewd comments from several of my male colleagues, including my boss. It’s a living hell and I want to leave but feel I shouldn’t have to. What can I do?
By The Newsroom
Published 3rd Feb 2011, 14:06 BST

It seems that you can join the club as it were, because according to About Equal Opportunities a staggering 72 per cent have experienced sexist bullying at work, so this country in the 21st century still has an issue with sexism. Statistics aside, I fully sympathize with your dilemma. Cruel remarks, jibes and teasing can appear on the surface as harmless workplace banter, but not when it can make the recipient so stressed out that they dread going to work. So when is it okay for male colleagues to act this way towards their female counterparts and when does their so-called “fun” become sexism? There is nothing wrong with having a bit of fun at work, in fact I know from professional experience, the happier the employees the more productive they are, but not when the jokes are directed in such a way. It’s just not ok for anyone to behave like that, it’s not acceptable on any level and the company, because it is responsible for this situation, must do something about it and fast if they don’t want this to escalate into a PR disaster. You’re right when you say why should you leave a job that you loved just because of some idiots? The answer is you shouldn’t, but it means you have to stand your ground and make it known that it stops now and stops for good. You need to speak out against this behaviour to ensure that those at the top are fully aware of the situation. I would also ask around to see if any other colleagues have suffered the same humiliation because approaching the company as a group with well catalogued instances can create a powerful front. After the dust settles and you find you have a working environment that is more pleasant then you have achieved a great deal, but don’t feel that leaving is giving up. Sometimes moving on can be just as rewarding.

Get clear in your mind what would be too much to deal with, know your rights and what you would settle for, then go in and make it happen. Set your boundaries clearly and then endeavour to get the changes made.

Alexandra Watson is a leading Happiness Expert and best-selling author. To listen to a complimentary call on how to feel happier and more confident simply visit www.T2Shine.com/call.

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