Jade's widower admits suicidal thoughts

The club promoter said the stigma of being branded a rapist made him feel so low that "I just wanted to end my life".

In a BBC radio interview yesterday, Tweed conceded he had acted immaturely and has now vowed to grow up.

Tweed, 22, was cleared last week of raping a teenager at his home in Woodford Green, Essex, along with his friend Anthony Davis.

The 19-year-old woman said she had been "frozen with fear", while Tweed said the sex was consensual.

Tweed, who was cleared by a jury in 15 minutes, was on remand for several months before the trial.

He said: "When I first went into prison I just wanted to end my life really. I just thought it was pointless carrying on with everything.

"I don't want my name branded with something like this. The whole thing was just a horrible experience."

Tweed married former Big Brother contestant Goody last year just days before her death from cancer.

Suicidal thoughts had come more than once, he admitted.

"For the first few months I did think about it a few times. My name's just branded with the word rape and obviously there's people out there who are gonna believe it.

"And I didn't want anyone thinking of me like that. It was just a horrible feeling."

He said he got through it with the support of his family, as well as his desire to see Goody's two sons again. The boys' father is TV presenter Jeff Brazier.

He said the incident which led to his arrest had begun as "just a normal night out which a 22-year-old boy has".

Tweed said he now planned to calm his life down: "Obviously I'm not going to turn into a monk and never go out ever again because I'm a young boy and all my mates are going out and I want to live my life, but I am going to slow down, yes. Keep my wits about me, drink a bit less, not go out as much."