Winston's Wish: Ex-Sheffield student and Bill Bailey share bereavement stories before charity event

Angus got involved with the charity after his mother, Claire, died following a road cycle accident when he was 21.

He says: “I was home for Easter with my mum and she was going for a cycle ride which she routinely did and she really wanted me to come but I had some writing up to do for university.

“Basically, she ended up in an accident and the next week was a bit of a blur. Over the next few months she didn’t really show any signs of improvement and in July the following year we decided it was in her best interests to withdraw life support.

“With all these experiences, I am still trying to figure it all out.”

Angus grew up watching Bill Bailey with his elder brother.

“My brother had Black Books on DVD and I have vivid memories of sitting down and watching it with him,” he says. “I was probably too young to appreciate much of the humour, but it’s still very visually funny. I’ve also seen Bill on QI and Never Mind the Buzzcocks – two shows I enjoy and admire. I was taken aback meeting him – he’s in the national treasure category surely!”

Bailey recently performed a comedy evening in aid of Winston’s Wish, which raised £45,856.48. It was before the show that Angus sat down to interview Bill about his own experiences of grief after the deaths of his own mother, Madryn, in 2005, and close friend and fellow comedian, Sean Lock, inset, in 2021.

Angus says: “Initially, I opened up about my experience of bereavement and I could see Bill instantly relax into the conversation, then when he started talking about his bereavement, I also relaxed into the conversation. I think my initially mentioning it opened that doorway of permission for us to both be open about our experiences. We were there as a result of bereavement in one way or another. Talking about it generated a sort of common ground.

“I think it’s valuable to be open about feelings. Articulating our feelings helps us better understand them – when we understand our feelings we’re better able to manage and react to them. It’s not always easy to be open though, so I think we each need to find and practice our ways of doing so.

“My involvement with Winston’s Wish was like Bill said in the interview, I can’t control this situation, but I can control to a degree the aftermath and it was always very important for me to make some good from the situation and create some good that wouldn’t have happened.”

The charity was established in 1992 and has been supporting grieving young people up to the age of 25, and the adults around them, since then. Alongside providing direct support and training for education and healthcare professionals, Winston’s Wish offers a range of digital resources from website articles and personal experiences to advice and the podcast series Grief in Common.

Angus, a member of the Winston’s Wish Youth Team, finds that he still has to cope with different emotions and triggers for his grief. For instance, when he was thinking about what he was going to wear for the interview with Bailey, he says, “I actually went to go and text my mum and I just had this brief moment, and everything just got to me. It was quite bizarre.

“I often stumble across old photos or memories and think, wow, that was what life was like back then. It acts as a benchmark to see how far I’ve come and how much things have changed – it’s a reality check. Looking back on the more difficult moments, I’m in admiration of my younger self for withstanding them and coming out the other end a more resilient and sensitive person. The difficult moments are obviously difficult, but we learn from them and I believe they make us more emotionally aware and sensitive individuals.”

Winston’s Wish offers bereaved young people and their families the opportunity to chat online, email or call for free to speak to a a support worker. Contact 08088 020 021, [email protected] or usexthe live chat at winstonswish.org.