Review: Red Riding Hood (12A) ***

Unlike the whacked-out acid trip that was Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, Catherine Hardwicke’s Red Riding Hood exists in rather less overtly phantasmagorical territory. Set in an undisclosed medieval realm in the distant past it is populated with muttering villagers, dread fears and the shadowy threat of a (were)wolf.

Amanda Seyfried is Valerie, the lovely lass torn between dangerous Peter (Shiloh Fernandez) and his somewhat duller rival, Henry (Max Irons). Her loyalty is tested when her sister is killed by the rampaging lycanthrope and both her would-be beaux head off in a posse to hunt and kill it. Cue the appearance of Solomon (Gary Oldman), a warrior priest who has his own methods for destroying the beast. Expanded from a child’s fairytale to an angst-ridden portrait of teen obsession, Red Riding Hood is about lust, jealousy, loyalty and choice.

It’s also a watered-down version of what could have been, emerging as a feeble hybrid of the fairytale it once was and the kind of 1960s Hammer horrors that have today been re-classified as harmless teen fare.

Red Riding Hood lacks bite. And that’s clearly what Hardwicke intended. For this is less a tale of terror than it is a contemporary love triangle plonked into a rural setting of 500 years back. It is wrapped within a simple detective story – not so much a whodunit as a whoisit. All eyes flit around the ensemble as each character tries to figure out who’s the hairy monster with the ravenous appetite. Then it’s all momentarily forgotten as Valerie tries to decide between Peter (saturnine, dangerous, brave) and Henry (fair, gentle, bookish).

The 12-20 crowd who loved Twilight and its follow-ups will doubtless buy into Red Riding Hood. It looks terrific, the action is acceptably fast and Seyfried, bedecked in blood-red, looks stunning. Throw in Julie Christie, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen and Lukas Haas and this boasts some serious talent. Shame it’s all a little tame.